Of Ancient Languages and Ancient Inventions

Fandom(s)
Stargate Atlantis, Highlander: The Series
Category
Gen
Characters
Methos, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay
Tags
Humor, Crossover
Words
1,964
Date
2006-12-25
Originally posted
https://archiveofourown.org/works/2152

Summary

"Methos had to admit that after spending all that time hanging around Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod, Defender of Honour and Chivalry and Hero of the Highlands, he found Dr. Rodney McKay rather refreshing."

Notes

The prologue was a drabble request for Vel'ithya, and the rest came when Sonnlich requested Methos in Atlantis for Christmas 2006.

Prologue

On paper he seemed perfect. Ancient gene, a genius with ancient languages, complete with an uncanny knack for reading Ancient.

There was just one thing...

"You want. To bring. A sword."

"Yes."

"To Atlantis."

"Yes."

"An actual sword."

"With a blade, yes."

She could feel a headache forming. "Mr Pierson, why do you have a sword?"

"It's, uh... it's a hobby of mine. SCA. Medieval recreation. Look, you have guns on that base. What's one little sword going to do?"

"Mr Pierson, I don't think the SCA has a chapter --"

"Barony."

"...a Barony on Atlantis."

When he smiled, she could feel herself wavering. "Then I'll just have to start one, won't I?"

--

Of Ancient Languages and Ancient Inventions

Methos had to admit that after spending all that time hanging around Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod, Defender of Honour and Chivalry and Hero of the Highlands, he found Dr. Rodney McKay rather refreshing.

He didn't think he'd been treated with such contempt since 18th century France, which made it all the more surprising when McKay came to him to ask for help.

"Why me?" asked Adam Pierson, affecting modesty.

"Well, given the limited timeframe, the obscurity of the artifact, the amount of data available and your proven abilities with deciphering Ancient..." McKay collapsed into more technobabble for a moment.

Adam Pierson shook his head. "I'm flattered, Dr McKay, but I really don't think I'm ready to leave Atlantis yet." In fact, Methos had no intention of ever participating in Stargate missions. He had no idea if there were other immortals in the Pegasus galaxy, and frankly, he had no intention of finding out. He was the only immortal on Atlanis, save one pre-immortal, and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Dr Pierson... I want you to know that under ordinary circumstances I would never say this and it's only because the situation is so dire, but... Your Ancient is better than mine."

Inside, Methos collapsed into hysterical laughter. Outside, Adam Pierson looked faintly embarrassed.

--

Methos felt naked without his sword, but he'd had no chance to even think about an excuse for bringing it along while McKay shepherded him to Elizabeth Weir (for her approval), then to the rest of Sheppard's team.

The Stargate loomed in front of them. Methos didn't even need to pretend to be awed - partially a long-buried reaction to his time in Egypt, partially at the thought that this mass of blue swirls could transport a person thousands of miles across space in an instant.

He stumbled out on the other side, slightly breathless.

"Easy," said Sheppard, raising his eyebrows.

Methos managed to right himself without needing outside assistance. "Wow," he said, looking around. "Is this really another planet?"

McKay quite visibly rolled his eyes. "The building is this way," he said pointedly.

--

"So what is it?" asked Methos, leaning over the device.

"If we knew that, we wouldn't need you here," said McKay, testily.

"But there's a ZPM involved?" said Methos.

"Yes, but as far as we can tell it's almost completely depleted. We just want to know what it was being used for."

Methos nodded. "Well, do we know anything about this building?" he asked.

"We believe it is a kind of shelter," explained Teyla. "There are signs that somebody once lived here, and the outer walls are very well secured."

McKay handed him a sheaf of papers. "These are copies of the documents we found with the device. If you could make a start on translating them, it would be most appreciated."

Methos put the papers aside, and put a hand on the device. It didn't react.

"I've already tried," drawled Sheppard. "I can't get it to do anything either."

Methos tapped the papers thoughtfully. "I guess I'd better start reading this then."

"Thank you," said McKay. "Haven't I been saying that?"

Methos rolled his eyes internally, while Adam Pierson attempted to look chagrined.

"Do the Ancients usually leave documents with their devices?" asked Methos. "I thought you usually just... hooked up your machine and went with it."

"Yes, well, I've tried that," said McKay. "But there's no way to hook up my laptop to this device."

Methos raised his eyebrows. "Is that normal? I can't remember the last time I had to read Ancient in hard copy."

"If it were normal I wouldn't need you here. In fact, every question you ask makes me even more convinced we don't, in fact, need you here at all."

Methos could see Teyla hiding a smile out of the corner of his eye. Biting back a suitable retort, he bent his head over the paper again.

It always took a moment to fall into the pattern of reading Ancient. It wasn't a language that he'd grown up with (or even grown into, as English was), the Ancients having vacated Earth several millenia before his birth, but he had encountered it before going into the Stargate program. After a few seconds, the symbols coalesced into actual words, and he was able to make a start.

He pulled his notepad closer and began making frantic notes as he read.

"Well?" said McKay, after a few minutes.

Methos waved a hand impatiently. "I'm thinking."

"What language is that," asked Sheppard, pointing at his notes.

Methos blinked, and looked at his notepad. "Sanskrit," he said, after a moment.

"Why," said McKay, with exaggerated patience, "are you translating it into Sanskrit?"

"Just keeping in practice," said Methos, innocently.

"Do you think you could keep in practice in your own time, Mr Pierson?" said McKay.

Methos briefly considered correcting him to 'Dr Pierson', then decided it wouldn't be in character. "I'm sorry, I have been practicing my Sanskrit recently, and I guess I'm kind of in the habit now."

McKay gave an exasperated sigh, while Teyla and Ronon exchanged bemused looks and Sheppard studied the ceiling with just the slightest touch of an amused smile. Methos had long suspected that John Sheppard had identified the Adam Pierson mask and didn't believe it for a second, so he generally made a point of trying to stay as far away from the man as possible.

Methos made more notes - in English this time - and had about five minutes grace before McKay was on his case again.

"Well?"

"It says 'One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them; One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them'," said Methos, exasperated.

He thought he heard Sheppard snicker behind him.

McKay was glaring at him.

"If you'd just give me the chance to concentrate..." said Adam Pierson, meekly.

After about half an hour, Methos put his pen down and cracked his knuckles noisily. "I think I have an idea about the device, anyway," he said. "It seems that--"

"Hush," interrupted Sheppard.

"What?" said Methos.

"I hear it too," said Ronon.

"Are you people insane? We've been sitting here for an hour and we're on the edge of a breakthrough and you think you hear something?"

"Rodney, shut up."

"I think we should go investigate," said Teyla.

Sheppard and Ronon nodded.

McKay hesitated, clearly torn between hovering over Methos impatiently, or going with the rest of his team. "You go, Dr McKay," said Methos, generously. "There's only one entrance here, I'll be fine."

McKay still wavered.

"I'll work faster without any distractions, anyway," said Methos.

--

Methos had a good ten minutes of peace before the sound of gunfire broke the silence.

He swore in ancient Egyptian.

McKay entered the shelter at a run and slammed the door behind him, barricading it after him.

"Doctor McKay!" said Adam Pierson. "What's going on?"

"The locals," said McKay, breathlessly. "They seem to be objecting to us disturbing their sacred place. Or something."

"Where are Col. Sheppard and the others?" asked Methos.

"Outside," said McKay, shortly. "I, uh, I thought protecting the ZPM - I mean, the device - was the priority."

"Wow," said Adam Pierson. "That's so courageous of you."

McKay seemed a little shocked. "I, uh..."

"No, really," he said. "I mean, you must know I'm not really combat trained, so coming back here to protect me... I really appreciate it, Doctor McKay."

McKay looked extremely uncomfortable. "So, um, what have you found out?"

"I think," said Methos. "That this is a water purifier."

McKay gaped at him. "A what?"

A gunshot from outside made them both wince.

"That seems to be what the instructions are for. A water purifier. See, you pump it in here, and it comes out over here..."

"Atlantis has water purifiers," said McKay. "And they don't look anything like this."

"Ah. Well, I'm not convinced this is Ancient writing."

"What? It's written in Ancient! You've been translating it!"

"Okay, so I phrased that badly," said Methos, secretly rather enjoying this. "I'm not convinced the person that wrote this was an Ancient."

"... pardon?"

"My suspicion is that he was a native of this world who'd had some contact with the Ancients. His notes seem to indicate he was an inventor. He was experimenting with using Ancient technology - ie. the ZPM - in conjunction with his own creations."

"But why was he writing in Ancient?"

"I believe that, to him, it was much like, say, Latin. It was the 'perfect language', the one that would hold his ideas in the purest form."

McKay raised his eyebrows. "That's utterly ridiculous."

"You know, back in the ooh... 13th century, the Church..."

More gunfire outside cut Methos' explanation short.

A few moments later, something started banging on the door to the shelter. "RODNEY! Open the damn door."

McKay somewhat sheepishly headed to the door.

"Are you finished? Because I think we want to get moving."

"But... the device! The ZPM!" said Rodney.

"You said yourself it was almost fully depleted," said Sheppard.

Methos nodded. "The person that made this device used it up trying to power his experiments."

"I'd still like to take it back to Atlantis," said McKay, stubbornly.

"Rodney, any minute now those people are likely to be back, and with reinforcements."

"Then we need to hurry!" said McKay.

--

Even though they were on a planet who-knew-how-many light years from Earth running towards a blue-swirly circle that allowed interstellar travel, Methos found himself with a strange feeling of deja vu.

Perhaps it was the running for one's life while being chased by a mob of angry people carrying spears and bows.

And he'd thought he'd left that part of his life behind centuries ago.

They stumbled through the gate and into the relative safety of Atlantis.

"Well," said Elizabeth Weir, as they caught their breath in the gate room.

"It was a water purifier," said McKay. "Made by some idiot who had no idea what he was messing with and no idea how to use it and..."

"Did you get the ZPM?" she asked.

"Yes," said Sheppard, tiredly. "But it's almost completely empty."

Weir tried somewhat unsuccessfully not to look disappointed.

"I think you should be able to get some interesting data from the translations I did," said Methos. "Even if he was completely incompetent, you can probably get something of value out of it."

McKay walked him back to his office, with Sheppard following close behind.

"I'd like to thank you again, Dr McKay," said Methos. "That was very brave of you, coming back to protect me."

"It was nothing," said McKay, shortly. "Thank you for the translation, I'm sure you understand I'm very busy."

Methos hid a grin as McKay scurried off.

"You know," said Sheppard, casually. "You're not going to get a reaction out of him."

Methos shrugged. "It amuses me." He raised an eyebrow, daring Sheppard to say something.

"Careful, your geek mask is slipping," was all Sheppard said, walking away.

Methos looked at his computer screen for a moment, then smiled.


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