Bruce was afraid that Tony Stark was going to insist on some kind of Avengers Family Christmas, but he started to relax once he found out Tony wasn't actually going to be around on Christmas Day.

"Pepper's taking me home to meet the parents," Tony explained. "They're going to love me," he said, in the arrogant tone that Bruce was learning meant he was thinking the exact opposite.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," declared Clint.

Thor looked puzzled. "You say this festival is the modern equivalent of Yuletide, but it is held after the solstice?"

"December 25," said Tony. "Solstice is usually around the 21st."

Thor's expression cleared. "I must return to Asgard for midwinter," he declared, "but I will return to Midgard in order to experience your belated solstice festival."

"Aw, man, I'm going to miss Thor's first Christmas?" said Tony. "I'll have to get Pepper to arrange some catering. We can't show the God of Thunder a bad time. How about you, Bruce?"

"I'll be here," said Bruce.

"'Tasha?" asked Clint.

She just stared at him evenly.

"Steve?" asked Tony.

Steve looked a bit uncomfortable. "I'm... I'm not going to be here. Peggy asked me to join her family for Christmas."

"Re-eally?" said Tony. "Look at you, stud."

"It's not like that!" said Steve, blushing harder.

"Wait a minute. Peggy Carter? She's still alive? I knew her as a kid."

Steve was starting to look faintly annoyed, the way he always did when Tony talked about his connection to Howard Stark. "She was-- would have been my girl, after the war. I was going to call her, but then... the end of the world happened? And after that I never got around to it." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, she called me last week, and she invited me to Christmas with her family."

"Well, that's not going to be awkward at all," said Tony.

Steve just looked miserable.

"She wouldn't have asked you if she didn't want to see you," offered Bruce.

"All right, so that's four for Christmas dinner," said Tony. "I'll pass it on." He typed into his phone quickly. "And, done. We are so doing team breakfast, though."

"Um," said Steve. "Peggy lives in Los Angeles."

"Excellent, I'll drop you off," said Tony.

Bruce would have liked to say that Christmas sneaked up on him unexpectedly, but it was hard to ignore when the tower kept filling up with more and more elaborate decorations.

"If you'd asked me," said Bruce, staring at a robotic display of Santa's Workshop with all moving parts, "I would have predicted Tony Stark would be a Christmas hater."

"I think he just likes building things," said Clint, poking at one of the elves. It turned and fixed him with an expression of profound disappointment. "Frightening."

"Perhaps some kind of avoidance technique," Bruce continued thoughtfully.

The lights that framed the tower - bringing new definition to the phrase "lit up like a Christmas tree" - had been programmed to synchronise with a number of modern pop songs, including at least one number that didn't even appear to be in English.

"Tell me," asked Thor. "What is this 'Gangnam Style'?"

Since Bruce had yet to figure that out himself, he decided to let Tony explain it.

On Christmas Eve they were laid out in the home cinema while Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer played, although only Thor and Steve were paying any attention to it.

Tony suddenly sat upright. "Christmas traditions!" he demanded. "You have to let me know what they are, so I can tell JARVIS and/or the caterers."

"I was raised in a circus," said Clint.

Natasha gave Tony a look that conveyed that whatever her childhood had been like, it did not involve Christmas traditions.

Bruce held up his hands. "You really don't want to go there," he said. "Whatever you decide is fine."

"Bucky and I always walked to Rockefeller to see the tree there?" offered Steve. "We could usually manage to convince someone to give us a free cup of cider."

"Come on, guys, I cannot be the one with the closest-to-normal childhood here."

Thor brightened. "My childhood was--"

"Not really relevant here, sorry buddy. Also, you're a prince."

"But I was given to understand that your 'corporations' are the closest to the American equivalent of a kingdom, and therefore you yourself grew up a prince."

"Which is my point," said Tony. "OK, so, new Christmas traditions. Got it."

So the day itself arrived with a bang, not a whimper. Tony had JARVIS summon them all into the kitchen and plied them with smoked salmon bagels, eggs benedict, perfectly crispy bacon and giant stacks of fluffy pancakes.

The suggestion of an Avengers Secret Santa had been overruled, so there were few gifts to exchange, and there was so much food that they didn't have time for things to become awkward before Tony and Steve had to leave.

"Sir has requested that you all relocate to the home cinema," said JARVIS politely, "where we will be watching the film 'It's A Wonderful Life'. He has arranged for eggnog and gingerbread to be served while you watch."

Clint shrugged. "It's not going to be my worst Christmas ever. It's not even going to be my weirdest."

"Vienna?" suggested Natasha.

"Fuck yes," said Clint. "Definitely Vienna."

"Do you not like this movie?" asked Thor.

"The movie is fine," said Bruce. It wasn't one of his favourites, but Tony was obviously going for whatever his understanding of traditional was, and Thor would probably find it interesting. "Let's go."